What do you do?

It's a question we ask when we meet new people, 'what do you do?' We like to know who we are dealing with, right? We usually follow up with questions about how many kids they have, or what church they go to. As long as we can place someone within the social spectrum appropriately is gives us a degree of comfort. We can make a judgement and pursue or reject that relationship accordingly.

My question is about how we value 'what we do' and why it's synonymous with who we are? Many people have argued based on this premise and the big screen regularly portray such a struggle for identity. Meanwhile, we continue to buy-in to the cultural norm that says you are what you do. We spend many years and a small fortune becoming qualified to fulfill a certain role in the workforce, to serve the prevailing system that demands good citizens and 'qualified' graduates. 

I'm fairly well educated, apparently. I certainly did my time, and got the qualifications. I even found my way into a role that I love performing. However, I realise that I'm also a slave to the system. 'What I do' is governed primarily by by employer. Of course, I have more freedom than most to let my passions drive certain aspects of my work, both on education and research fronts. 

It got me thinking about how parents/grandparents etc. revel in the accomplishments of their children. Academic/professional accolades are applauded and form the basis of much small-talk among friends. I am genuinely happy that I make (a very limited number of!) people pleased through what I 'do' and whatever I have achieved....but I just want to put it out there that other more important measures of success do exist. These are the measures by which I would like my own children to be assessed, if they must be assessed. 

We must step back from all the superficial accreditation, achievements and measures of esteem, and recognize the things that people do that have real impact on a human level. Doing a job that 'makes you happy' is a pretty shallow goal. How about doing a job that makes others happy...now that has value. Gaining a degree to boost your cv and get a better job, is that really the best we can do? How much better to seek out every source of knowledge to be better able to pour into our relationships, navigate life issues with wisdom and raise a voice against the systemic problems that cause gross inequality in our world. 

So in the years to come, when you ask me what my kids do (and maybe what I do- since I'm not a lost cause), I hope I can answer, 'They pursue their dreams, they seek out opportunities for learning, they cultivate wisdom, they defend the weak, they befriend the marginalized and they speak the truth. They are changing the world.' 

Community

We are so quick to defend ourselves and those close to us from harm. But for many of us, this protective instinct does not extend much further than that. We can watch atrocities occur around the world (and around the corner), and we sympathise...but if we are honest does it simply make us quite grateful that our own friends and family are not in harms way? Do we regularly enjoy and give thanks for the many 'blessings' of a safe environment? Most certainly we have been cultured to embrace competition, accept survival of the fittest, stand up for our rights and entitlements as citizens, men, women, children etc. Putting others first is fine in rhetoric but how many people follow though?

The attitudes of an individualistic and materialistic society that I notice almost daily, at times devastates my soul. I keep my own thoughts in check, as my environment pressures me to accept that my family and I are the most important people in the world. The perceived trials of a busy existence in the digital age have so many of us scrambling for position, scratching our way to every achievement and acquisition. What is all this busy-ness for? Comfort? Wealth? Longevity? Legacy? Or is it just a necessity for survival? 

It's interesting to see how far we have travelled on the path away from real community. In real community, what hurts you hurts me. If you are not safe, how can I rest easy? You may say, that's how I feel about my 'community'....my church, my family, my country. I can see such communities clearly adopting a similar 'ubuntu' type ethos for those they care about, and in many ways, this is a step in the right direction. However, if we adopt self-sacrificial boundaries of faith, bloodline or nationality, it demonstrates collective, as well as individual, self-preservation and self-service.

I do think that some communities see the bigger picture. Some organisations are working towards objectives for ALL of humanity and for the most vulnerable. Most of all, it is inspiring to see individuals who are looking beyond themselves and those they hold dear, understanding that the world will not change as long as our attitudes and boundaries do not. As long as we continue to protect, insulate and enjoy comfort and stability, putting out of mind (with sympathy) those who have no chance at such a life,  we will never accomplish anything of real value. 

When we think of numbers like 1 million child refugees driven out of Syria, three quarters of whom are under 11, can we comprehend the magnitude of such a problem? Is it so far divorced from our busy life that we just cannot understand, or would acknowledgement of the problem have consequences so great that it is more palatable to continue in passivity? Around the world, the cancers of humanity- poverty, racial/social/gender inequality, slavery, human trafficking, conflict- perhaps do not brush up against our lives on a day to day basis. However, have we considered that many of the root causes of vulnerability and suffering are maintained by our need for comfort? 

In order to maintain the status quo of our governments, corporations and systems, global inequality an absolute must. We throw our weight behind the government to protect our interests as citizens, and hope that our companies can deliver our products at an affordable price, regardless of how they achieve this. Consumer demand drives companies to find new ways to cut corners in developing economies. The political elite preach peace and prosperity while jostling for trade concessions designed to exploit. This is all for our comfort and prosperity. 

How can we justify closed borders to refugees? Because they threaten us somehow? How can we learn about the most horrific suffering of fellow human beings, and go back to watching our favourite TV programme? How can I be content that my children are safe and healthy, when there are millions of children around the world that face untold horrors every day? They are my community. I am not content, I am disturbed through and through. Truth be told, I don't ever want to settle, as long as someone in my community is suffering.

A Syrian girl in Zaatari refugee camp in Jordan. Photo: UNHCR/O. Laban-Mattei